1. |
This is the Way You Went
06:24
|
|||
|
Talk about each way to leave:
So many doorways, such easy exits.
Talk about all that you see:
Such daring failures, exquisite tortures.
This is here and this is now;
all that was will pass before you.
This is null and this is void—
a grand return, a small departure.
By some elixir in glass,
be method of entry
sharp or smooth;
or perhaps a piece of metal
to cut or still,
fast or slow,
blunt or pointed;
or something a bit less solid—
a flight of stairs,
a greasy puddle,
something blunt or broken in someone's hand…
This is the key
and the way to the door.
This is the way:
Step outside.
You could tell them that it was easy,
and you could tell them there was no pain.
You could tell them, but you left without a sound.
I don't know if they'd believe you, but I do.
Would you tell them that it was easy?
Would you tell them there was no pain?
Would you tell them how you left without a sound?
I don't know if they'd believe you but I do.
Or would you tell them it wasn't easy?
Or would you tell them of your pain?
Or would you tell them how the quiet overtook you?
No, I know they'd not believe you, but I do.
(I won't sing for you any songs about dying.
I won't give to you ideals for living.
I won't give to you any thoughts on leaving.
I will hold you close until you stop breathing.)
|
||||
2. |
||||
|
the meanest of feats could eclipse my existence.
make of me what you will, take from me what you want, not worth the words you waste on me.
i don't get the respect i don't deserve—what could a mote of dust concede?
i live to serve you, i am a parasite, i have no other need.
i wish that i could hate you, i wish that i could hurt you and then just let it be.
i wish that i could swallow you and make you a part of me and let you disappear with me.
in my dreams i am a spirit flying, moving like the wind—i am everything and nothing at all.
in my dreams i am a spirit flying, shadow moving—i am everything and nothing at all.
whatever god give me the strength, whatever god give me the purpose to do what i must.
whatever god give me the strength, whatever god give me the purpose to do what i have to do.
whatever god give me the strength, whatever god give me the purpose to do what i don't want to do.
whatever god give me the strength, whatever god give me the purpose to do what i have always been meant to do
you're mine.
|
||||
3. |
We are Nothing Like You
05:20
|
|||
|
If I knew how to turn this all around
I wouldn't try so hard it feels too good to be angry
all burning like ice blackening skin
all cold like acid eating my nerves
So don't do it again
I won't do it again
but you won't try to fix this
I wouldn't do it again
if I were in your place
but dear god would I ever want to
If I felt even the least bit human right now
I would rip my own heart out
if only I could feel this lightness all the time
if only I could feel this brightness all the time
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
[LONG VOWEL SOUNDS]
|
||||
5. |
The Company of Wolves
06:22
|
|||
|
You know my name but not my face,
and you know my nature as you know your own.
The animal is unashamed to show himself,
but beneath these clothes I wear a second skin.
Heart's blood blazes Hadean rivers from my core,
and it burns with a sickness inside me that I cannot control
nor can I know.
Would that we were unencumbered by these human forms!
Would that we were unencumbered by these mortal fears!
Would that we were pure and cruel as our unsaid desires!
Would that we were one in body as we are in mind!
Should you find me bathed in moonlight
on all fours and wearing wolf-skin,
should you run and screaming hide
or close your limbs and lips around me?
We are close and nearly sleeping,
lulled by beat of blood and breathing—
is there more between us now
than either one can see?
No longer to be unencumbered by these human forms!
No longer to be unencumbered by these mortal fears!
We will be as pure and cruel as our unsaid desires!
We will be as one in body as we are in mind!
I knew your face before I knew your name;
I know your nature as I know my own.
We animals are unashamed to show ourselves:
We burn our clothes and shed our second skins.
Spilt blood blazes radiant rivers in white snow;
eyes burn with a sickness inside us we cannot control—
too well we know.
Were we only so unencumbered by our human forms?
Were we only so unencumbered by our mortal fears?
Will we be as pure and cruel as our unsaid desires,
and will we be as one in mind when our bodies become one in kind?
Should I find you bathed in moonlight
on all fours and wearing wolf-skin,
should I scream and running hide
or should I let you fall upon me?
We are close and nearly sleeping,
lulled by beat of blood and breathing—
is there more between us now
than either one can see?
You were never so encumbered by your mortal form.
You were never so encumbered by their human fears.
You were always pure and cruel as your unsaid desires,
and if we are not one in mind, then we shall be as one in kind.
|
||||
6. |
||||
|
columns of smoke
spreading like toadstools
fairy rings
to the children of gods
silently rising
and spreading in a sandstorm
debris and detritus
clusters around
sifting as silt between my toes
and up to my ankles
sucking me in
and only shadows remain
if only to be there
to hold a moment
like a photograph
impending disaster
the camera is a life-raft
disappear beneath the waves
or stay
and disappear later
no impending disaster
only our images remain
before burning away
faces in firelight
chill as diverted veins
approaching slowly without
within textures
within features
shifting visage cracking
mirror-tains bleeding
and our masks burn away
|
||||
7. |
A Strange Perfume
02:10
|
|||
|
Your scent clings to the walls of my room,
the strangest perfume:
Flowers of sweat and blood in full bloom.
|
||||
8. |
Serotine
08:46
|
|||
|
Wrap your wings 'round the callow breeze,
scream pitched so high that they cannot hear,
but they know
and they feel.
Wrap your arms 'round the felon wind,
fly so deep that they cannot see—
Would they know?
Could they feel?
Night is young, night is tender;
day is short in faded splendour.
Life is long, we misremember,
ripest fruits unfit to render.
But in all candour…
I don't know what the matter is.
so I trace the perimeter of my bed-frame
grasping to frame the interiors of my skull
eyes worrying the shadow-shapes in doorframes and on stairs
mind's-eye worrying the doggerel of foreign miseries and trials
when not simply white noise cloudy sky and static grey
I should sleep all day because there is nothing worth getting up for.
But should I sleep all day then all the night will stretch before me,
and there is nothing to do and nowhere to go and no-one to know—
no, there is nothing to do and nowhere to go and no-one to know.
There is no-one to tell me otherwise—
there is no-one who could tell me otherwise.
(know I am, that I am, another useless layabout.)
where do you think you're going with your life?
what do you think you're doing with your time?
(hello, who's this?
hello, it's me, who's that?)
Another lonely evening in a crowded world;
another lonely evening paring lean from fat.
I chase the phantoms to the corners of the page;
I search for snappy lines and clever turns of phrase.
I crave the bittersweet like belladonna pouring from my mouth—
I could use some belladonna for this headache coming on too slow…
(i don't go out in the sun for fear of the rain)
Have you ever had experiences with isolation?
Have you ever had experiences with indignation?
Have you ever had experiences with humiliation?
Have you ever had experiences with social deviation?
Have you ever had experiences with self-abnegation?
Have you ever had experiences with ostracisation?
Have you ever had experiences with suicidal ideation?
Have you ever had experiences with dissociation?
Have you ever had experiences with self-mutilation?
Have you ever had experiences with…?
|
||||
Silence and Secrecy Pennsylvania
Purveyor of fine musical curios, grotesques and arabesques since 1 January 2014. Mostly just one weirdo in a literal attic.
If you like Silence and Secrecy, you may also like:
Toise Make Noys
by Uncle Woozee
This wild experimental artist from Chicago uses electric kazoos, tape loops, and more to craft far-out, wonderfully confounding songs.
go to album
The Richmond Avant Improv Collective meets fellow experimentalists Ceremonial Scissors for a cathartic, expansive session.
go to album
This sprawling box set from Illusion Of Safety collects 20 free-roaming experimental tracks.
go to album
A detailed reissue of Arvo Zylo's landmark 2010 experimental album, a nightmarishly brilliant landscape of startling textures.
go to album
Climax In A Process
by Sharkiface
Deeply chilling and absorbing experimental music from Angela Edwards that feels like a long plunge into a cold, dark expanse.
go to album
ILLUSION OF SAFETY & Z'EV
by ILLUSION OF SAFETY & Z'EV
A potent sound collage from 2008-2012 by experimental titans Illusion of Safety and Z'ev.
go to album
Topographic Relief Vol 6
by Various Artists
Warped, woozy vaporwave that builds suspense and unease with long, gauzy sheets of sound. Psychedelic and hypnotic.
go to album
